I finally did it. I’ve wanted to for years, but I’ve always been afraid. Took a trip up to the Volo Car Museum. Afraid? Yes. All the cars there are for sale. A man with little credit and less willpower can get into $erious trouble in a place like that.

My friend John, his wife Linda, and I left Wheaton in their brand new Cadillac. It has all the bells and whistles. I was fascinated with the On Star GPS navigation system. Just punch in the destination’s street address and the car will plot its own course, giving you a choice of the fastest, shortest, or scenic routes. It’s just like Map Quest on your PC. As you travel along your current location is constantly being updated and displayed on a small in-dash computer screen. The computer will audibly and visually tell you when a turn is coming up. Should be almost impossible to get lost. But then again getting lost can be half the fun on a road trip.

This got me to thinking about all the gadgets and gizmos that are available on a new car. Remember when power steering was a big deal? Or power windows? They’re standard equipment on the most basic of cars now days. Some of the new technology is quite useful, like ABS brakes and traction control. Some are convenient, like automatic headlamps and heated seats, but some are just a pain in the butt. I really hate those doors that lock automatically when you put the car in gear. Have we become so lazy (or stupid) that we can’t push a button if we want to lock the doors?

Anyway we got up to Volo without a hitch. I was disappointed, but also relieved, to find that there were no MGs, Healeys, or other LBCs on display that day. Not even an XK120 or similar Jag. But to please us Anglophiles there were several Rollers, Bentleys, big Jags, and even an Alvis. And enough Detroit iron and muscle cars to spin your head, if not your tires.

So I got by without buying a car. However I did fall in love with a secretary there. Nice chest and legs. A little smooth talking on my part and I’m riding home in the Cadillac’s spacious back seat with the secretary. Now how to sneak into the house? We get in OK, but Deb comes home from work early. BIG trouble. She walks in and catches me in the bedroom with the secretary. She wants to know what the heck is going on. Now I don’t know what you’re thinking, but this secretary is a nice piece of furniture, complete with fold-down writing surface and chest of drawers. It’s too nice to hide it in the bedroom. She decides that it would fit much better in the hallway. So I go to Volo to not buy a car and come home with furniture. All in all I found that the Volo Car Museum is a nice place to spend some time, whether or not you’re a car buff.

Remember that there is no general meeting in December, but we will still have the Natter ‘n’ Noggin. And don’t forget the Holiday party on the 13th, with an optional ($10ish) grab bag. If I don’t see you there, here’s hoping a safe and happy holiday season to you and yours.