Halloween Rally - - by Bill Hedrick
Welcome my friends to the Halloween Rallye.
Have fun, enjoy, don’t hurry, but don’t dally.
The first question’s easy, no need to tarry,
What year established the Main Street Cemetery?
Go south of the start and take the first right,
If you miss it, you’re lost, and at the stoplight.
Another question so soon, oh my what will you do?
But fill in the question, what is 1832?
Turn right at the T, go till you stop,
Turn left at the T, if it’s nice drop your top.
As you’re driving along and think life is groovy,
Who was the maker of some scary movies?
Enjoy the nice homes, you might see a steeple,
What’s going on that involves little people?
See, it’s easy, it’s fun, not really a fright,
Pay attention, turn right at the first traffic light.
Eeny, meeny, miney mo, bibbity, bobbity, boo,
Come up with an answer to, what does Relja do?
Cross the tracks, take the first left and first left again,
What’s behind 4904, where lots of work needs to begin?
Right at the T, isn’t this fun?
Left at the sign of the red octagon.
What’s Delta Dental gone out and done,
That makes them the subject of this silly question?
This most important holiday is called Halloween,
What’s so important about 11/15?
Don’t get off the route, it will fill you with woe,
Take a right on the street that’s called Ivanhoe.
Go to the stop, take a left like before,
Go to the light, take a right, there’s still more.
To quote the words of some infamous bard,
Take the left that comes up at the next boulevard.
Scary books and movies are this author’s fame;
Drop the "s", fill in the blank with his name.
Enjoy the nice ride that comes into view,
Go left at the light, both co-driver and you.
Traffic is heavy, be careful, don’t make a scene,
What really happens come 715?
I hope you’re enjoying this rallye I’ve styled,
What do you see that’s just beyond wild?
Drive along, see the colors, cross the railroad tracks,
You’re into it now, there’s no turning back.
Turn right at the light where chickens are stored.
The scenery’s been nice, you’re surely not bored.
Ain’t driving along the road really swell!
Tell me, please tell me, what is the "L".
To have missed this fine day would be a sin.
What do you see above Lincoln’s Inn?
Take a right turn at Union, follow it all around,
What’s all dressed up there that can be found?
Take a right turn on First, you surely must go,
What’s the word that you’ll see if you’re going slow?
Turn left at the T, go on straight through the light,
But please stop if it’s red, or you may have a bad night.
Move along now with you, till you come to a stop,
Then go straight into the park, towards the sign of the cop.
Park your car if you want, take a walk around, stare,
How many, and who made all the windmills you see there?
(Use the other side of the sheet, if you need the room.
Please don’t write really small, it might lead to your doom.)
As you’re looking for mills, you may see children dancing,
How many are there, that you can see prancing?
Agent 007’s secret is out because of his mother,
Fill in the blank with the name of his brother?
After you’ve answered your questions, go back to the stop.
Turn right, go up Houston, to the hill at the top.
As you sit at the top, at the stop, and consider your plight,
Oops! I forgot, I should tell you, you’d better go right.
Rodeo Reds really big with all the cow pokes,
What does he do so he doesn’t go broke?
If you fall from high places, you’ll land with a plop.
What is below the vertical drop?
You’re having a great ride, or surely you otter.
What’s being done at the place called Breakwater?
Grossklag sounds like you need a good plumber.
What does he do in the middle of summer?
What a great day for a ride, with such excellent pros,
Just pay attention, don’t miss the turn at Melrose.
Drive along slowly, thank God, it’s not hot!
What kind of car greets you in LaFox’s side lot?
Turn around now and head back from the direction you came.
What’s with these directions, Bill must be insane!
Rub a dub dub, Three men in a tub,
I need a drink at the ____ Rail Pub.
A riddle! A riddle! To figure out.
What do you see that’s inside and out?
Travel south till you come to the first traffic light.
Turn left, cross the river, the end is almost in sight.
Slow over the tracks so your tires won’t pop,
Take a right where you see the sign of the stop.
Enough of this nonsense, I have to go pee!
Soon enough I say, take a left at the T.
Follow along as I’ve said, several times as before,
Take a right at the sign that says 64.
Over the river, but not through the woods,
Take a left at the light, cause I said you should.
Take another left at the light there that you see,
Take one more left and you’re done, don’t you see.
Park your car, stretch your legs, be careful don’t fall.
Write your mileage, then come into the bar marked Last Call!
Have a coke or a beer or something much stronger,
And be grateful this rallye wasn’t much longer!
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Reminiscing - - by Barney Gaylord
If you think the route instructions and questions are nuts, you should have been in the rally. The biggest challenge while reading, driving, and watching for clues was trying to write the answers while busting a gut laughing. Some of the answers were as funny as the questions. What’s dressed up turned out to be scarecrows, "The Bird is the Word", and James Bond’s brother turned out to be Peg (unintentionally). Other odd answers turned out to be more creative than intended as well. The final topper was that the last "left at T", about 10 lines form the end, required either a right turn or a cell phone, so having to pee before the end may not have been a joke. I don’t know if anyone ended up in Wisconsin, but some were headed that way. Cruising around with the top down in populated areas wearing strange costumes is an experience in itself. If you looked good from the shoulders up you had to be a hit. Having done this in the appropriate dress for a few years running, I wouldn’t miss it. I think I’ll drive it again next week end, just for hoots.
More pictures at: www.chicagolandmgclub.com/photos/halloween02
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